I am writing this for three reasons. Firstly for self help, someone out there might associate me with themselves and help me in my hour of need. Secondly I might be able to help someone else by letting them know how I feel. Lastly I do feel I am nearing the end of the road at this moment in time and want to try as hard as I can to extinguish this dark and dreadful cloud of radioactive fog hanging over my life. First I will bring you up-to-date with my situation. I am aged 56 years, divorced twice, now living at home with my elderly mother. I am diagnosed as a bi-polar person. but I think it should be uni-polar as I have been stuck in a very low mood since my divorce 5 years ago, although this could be in part to my medication keeping me in a low state. I have three children One from my first marriage and two from my second. I keep in touch with the younger two children as often as I can even though they live two hundred miles away. My son is aged 12 years and my daughter is 9 years. I love them so much it is hard to put into words how much I do love them but I bet you will understand.My older daughter lives near by. but we do not keep in touch,that is another story.I am now for most of the time in what you might say a semi- vegetable state of mind, unable to do the most simplest of tasks. It is imposable 
for me to keep in touch with friends, opening post, answering emails is a no no, the simplest of tasks seem like a marathon run at this moment in time. I isolate myself from the world. I am lazy, fat , physically very unhealthy, bad tempered and more. I am just managing to keep up a full time job though. This helps with the lack of structure in my life and at the end of the day we all need the wage packet at the end of the week. I will not stay like this any more over the next few hours , days, weeks, years, I will try to work out how to win the battle, even the war against this radioactive fog. I have been procrastinating long enough.(5years) I promise to keep you posted.
No one's life runs smoothly all the time.
No one's life runs smoothly all the time, so it helps to know how to combat depression and anxiety. Hard times at work, relationship difficulties, bereavement or money worries can leave you feeling anxious or depressed. As many as one in four people experience depression at some time in their lives, but if you are affected there are positive steps you can take.
Myth: Depression is a personal or moral weakness.
Fact: Depression is an illness with no single cause. Heredity, chemical changes in the body, and significant life changes or stressors all can lead to a depressive episode.
Myth: Depression is only extreme sadness – "Snap out of it!"
Fact: Depression is more than sadness or having the "blues." Symptoms of depression are much more pervasive and chronic and can lead to significant impairment in one or more areas of life.
Myth: Depressed people are lazy or looking for attention.
Fact: Actually, people with depression may attempt to hide their distress from others. Encourage them to talk about their depression and seek the help they need.
Warning signs of depression
Five or more can indicate clinical depression, most experts say. • Persistent sad, anxious or "empty" mood • Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once found enjoyable • Feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness or excessive guilt • Fatigue or loss of energy • Sleeping too little or too much • Difficulty making decisions or diminished ability to concentrate • Significant weight loss or weight gain when not dieting • Suicidal thoughts or plans .
Symptoms of Major Depressions
People who suffer from major depression usually feel sad, hopeless and unhappy about their lives and the future. They may cry a great deal or feel dry-eyed and numb to the world. The symptoms of major depression are usually intense in that they prevent a person from functioning in any normal capacity. Their home lives suffer, as do their careers, education, relationships and person feelings of worth and self-esteem. They may suffer from physical symptoms such as headaches, body pains and stomach discomfort.
Other symptoms common to major depression are: * Insomnia * Sexual dysfunction * Feelings of worthlessness * Guilt * Anxiety * Withdrawal from friends and family * Loss of interest in once pleasurable activities * Thoughts of death or suicide When major depression is left untreated, the symptoms do not usually abate and tend to increase which can eventually lead to suicide.
Everyone feels blue at one time or another.
A death in the family, a disappointment in your career, a romance gone awry--all can cause most people to feel down for a period of time. Grief and sadness are normal reactions to life's stressful events. After a time, however, most people will heal and return to a normal life.
Depression is more than the normal ups and downs of life that we all have. When sadness just won't go away and it begins to interfere with daily life we recognize this as a mood disorder called depression.
Sometimes depression goes unrecognised because it may manifest itself in more ways than just a sad mood. A depressed person may feel any or all of the following emotions: anger, irritability, hopelessness, fear, anxiety, fatigue, numbness, confusion, worthlessness, or shame. A depressed person may also feel physically ill, weak, or in some cases have hallucinations.
Depression can affect every aspect of your life: your physical health, your sleep, your eating habits, your job, and your relationships with friends and family. It affects your thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
People with untreated depression may choose to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol. They may also relieve their emotional pain by overeating, physically harming themselves (cutting, burning), being sexually promiscuous, or other self-destructive behaviours.
Depression may come on suddenly as result of a stressful event or it may grow slowly over months and years. It may have an apparent cause or it may not seem to have any rhyme or reason. Depressed people suffer from an imbalance in their brain chemistry that makes them especially prone to stress. What may seem a small setback to someone else may be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back for a person prone to depression.
It is very important for those who love a depressed person--as well as the depression person themselves--to understand that a depressed person suffers from a very real illness. A depressed person cannot just "snap out of it" or "cheer up". They are not weak, lazy, defective, or seeking attention. They are ill and need your help.
Like any other illness, depression is treatable. Although there is no "cure" for depression, it is very controllable. There are a wide variety of medications that are effective in treating depression. With medication, therapy, and time, a depressed person can get well and lead a happy and productive life. I'm living proof of that. When I say living, I mean that literally. Depression is also the number one cause of suicide. If you suspect that you or someone you love is depressed, take steps now to get treatment. You may just save a life.
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